She also prays Gods will to show her true love does exist and that he has that right someone, who God has designed for her. That one true love, that connects two spirits together, as one with God. Deep down she still believes and she knows when God does bring him into her life he will be compassionate with an understanding heart. Most of all with the healing she is going through she knows God can bring beauty from ashes.
Authors note:
I know this story is quite different from my normal ones. It is a story of real life and real heartache. And of a woman who never gives up on her God or her faith. I pray that one day she will have her happily ever after. Who knows maybe that day has come. Only God knows.THE END.......Or Is It?
In school she could never seem to make friends, she pretty much stayed to herself withdrawn, alone deserted and abandoned. No one understood, no one felt her pain. They finally moved to where her older sister lived in Arizona and by that time the damage was done. Becky was now growing into a depressed young woman. No friends, no one to talk to, why would anyone want to be her friend? She wasn’t worthy of any love, worthy of any friends. Everyone she got close to left her. So why should she give her whole heart away? Then at seventeen Becky found a love beyond her wildest dreams. She found God! She had begun to finally make friends who wanted to be near her. She began to blossom into a beautiful rose. Three years she had now grown into a lovely woman and met a man who she fell in love with. They had a secret engagement planned to get married in September, until one day he broke it off and broke her fragile heart. She felt her whole life that she had to be loved, she wanted to be loved, and she craved love. So when she meets some one, then they walk out it destroys her. Yet she always gave of herself to be accepted and loved. She grew compassionate towards people because she understands pain. When someone hurt she hurt with them. Due to her big compassionate heart people began to use Becky, walk all over her. No one knew the deep secret, or scars that she bore. Becky felt so alone except for the Love of God the Father. She knew He would never leave her nor forsake her. Becky was misunderstood and felt no one would listen to her no matter how hard she tried to be heard. A few months after Becky’s boyfriend broke up with her she met some one new, who in a few months has convinced Becky that no one but him could ever love her. Then came the time when he took some thing that she held very dear and special. (Her virginity) How she wanted to save herself for her soul mate and one true love on her wedding night. Now that was lost and not by her choice. Now with this new secret the only one she could talk to about it is God Himself. She doesn’t know much at this age of spiritual growth, but she does love God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit with all her heart. After being raped for a few months she now meets a man who she believes is the man she is to marry. For now she felt strong enough to break up with the man, who said she was nothing, and he has dated prettier, and who said she would never be loved by another. After two years she and the new man did marry and had three children together. Now she experienced a new type of abuse, emotional. Her husband would now and then buy her flowers and call her beautiful but it was his actions of looking at another women. Calling attention of their sexuality or he would go up to a woman at a family gathering put his arm around her and say this is my girlfriend. Where Becky already felt unattractive weighing now more then she did when she first got married. So here her husband is with his arm around another woman thinner then her. Making Becky feel like who is she? The deep hurt in her heart growing, but she never gave up on God. And He never gave up on her. After about fifteen years of emotional heartache and depression her husband did something to their oldest daughter. Something he never should have done. The police got involved and so did Child protective services. Now with the husband in prison she filed and is now on her own to raise three kids. Never being on her own before she now felt fear, so after a year of staying at her sisters, her sister gives her three months to find a place and move out. It wasn’t because Becky and her kids were bad it was her sister’s husband wanting the place to them selves. Becky didn’t blame them she just has no idea of where to go. She begins to question God and His will. She really is feeling alone and scared. Here she felt again abandoned emotionally by her now ex husband and she has no idea of Gods will for her life she and her daughter were the victims. She felt like the one who has done the crime. She begins to question where the justice is. Yet the hurt is burning deeper into her heart. She still struggles to hang on to God in her life. The she get a phone call from her ex sister in law in Ohio and said Becky and the kids are welcome to stay there until they can get on their feet. Becky believes this is Gods answer. So with the last bit of money she has she packs up all the belongings she has and moves to Ohio. Once there, Becky’s ex sister in law begins to act differently and very distant. After two weeks and Becky’s belongings in storage the sister in law (I’ll call her Ruth) throws Becky and the kids out in the middle of the night after Ruth who does not know God and her family got in a drunken state. After loading the few things they had in the car and with no place to go and now terrified she heads to the only place where she feels comfort. A church parking lot, now with no money left they sleep in the car only Becky couldn’t sleep she walked in the cold night around the church crying out to God. She wanted Him to hear her prayer, and wanting to know His will. She tried so hard not to blame God for she knew of the evil one it just seemed she couldn’t understand why it seemed God had forsaken her. What had she done but Love Him with all her heart and wanted so much to be loved in return. She began to wonder if true love really existed. Maybe it was only make believe, to Becky God would now have to prove to her that the real love as in stories she reads does exist. Now with tears the next day at the advice of her mother she goes to the police and explains what happened. The police paid for their food and a motel for three days until Sunday. Sunday came and Becky heads with her and her kids to a church and explains the problem to the pastor. He takes pity on them and paid for a week the motel and more food until Becky appointment at the welfare office. At the appointment the welfare was able to qualify Becky for a grant to pay for a motel for a month with food stamps for food. At the motel Becky asks for a job application and gets hired as a housekeeper. She makes it for a month until her car kept her from the motel the assigned her to work at and they dismissed her. Now with not knowing what to do she goes back to the welfare office and with the help of her worker Becky and the kids get sent back to Arizona to Becky’s family. With Becky’s dad coming back into her life and wanting to make things right He paid for Becky’s apartment. Now with Becky, and her kids, getting counseling, and Becky finding her strength in writing, she puts forth an effort in writing Christian romance stories. Still on welfare and growing stronger in God she still has her struggles and hurts. Like when the kids get rebellious because now they question God about what all they had endured. It’s tough on Becky to try and explain to them when at this point the two older ones are nearing adulthood. It has been years since they have come back to Arizona from Ohio. Becky’s things are still in storage there, and one day she prays God will open a way for her to get her things.TO BE CONTINUED.....
She stood at the window and watched him leave for the last time. Her life suddenly felt empty as she stood there watching feeling helpless the tears falling down her cheeks. She doesn’t understand why this is happening, after all she’s only five years old watching her daddy walking out of her life. Will she ever get over this hurting? Only time will tell.
The little girl is eight now and her mommy’s engaged to be married. Spending time with her mommy’s fiancée and his family including the fiancée’s dad at his home, every one is having fun and playing games, the little girl’s brother and sisters are hanging out with the older kids. All the younger kids are all playing hide and go seek with the granddad to be. The granddad takes the little girl by her hand telling her “Come I know a good hiding place.” The innocent little girl so trusting follows him to the secret hiding place, under the house and there alone he touches her in places he shouldn’t. She’s afraid to say anything, afraid no one will believe her. Later that night the mom calls the little girl named Rebecca (Becky) in to take a bath. After getting the bath ready the mother knows something’s not right so after questioning Becky, Becky breaks down and confesses what had happened. The mother tells Becky to stay in the bath room and confides to her fiancée what had happened. The fiancée got angry at his dad and broke down and cried saying, “I never believed my ex when she told me about my dad touching my younger kids.” He couldn’t stop apologizing enough for what happened.
Two years later Becky’s mom moved the family to Oregon after the break up with her mom and her fiancée. The Mom still grieving over the divorce of the little girl’s daddy leaves to have fun with close friends, singing and dancing in bars. Becky’s oldest sister is now married with a baby and one on the way living in another state, Arizona. Becky’s brother and other sister are out all the time getting high and hanging with their friends leaving Becky alone to fend many times for her self. Becky would go to friend’s houses in hopes to get invited to eat just to have food. Christmas time and all Becky wanted was a pony a neighbor was selling for fifty dollars. Knowing every Christmas her dad would send twenty five dollars she begged her mom for the other twenty five and for Christmas got her dream, a pony, Becky was eleven then. Two months later Becky knows her mom is struggling to feed the pony yet the pony was losing weight. After all they were living on welfare. Saddened with a heavy heart Becky asks her mom if it was alright to give her pony to her friend. Her mom said it’s alright, so she gave her pony to her friend. One month later her friend’s dad then sold the pony to his friend for his grandchildren. The grandfatherly man who now has the pony told Becky and her friend, if ever they wanted to come and visit and ride the pony, they are welcomed to do so anytime. Becky took him up on it she still loved that pony. She was in the stable brushing him when the grandfather came in and started to talk to her about the pony. He walked around her and stood behind her and reached around her and touched her where he shouldn’t. Becky was afraid for he was bigger then she was, and she does love that pony so much, and wouldn’t want to hurt the chance of not seeing Peanut (the pony) again. She closed her eyes and trembled as he touched her. When he was done he handed her a five dollar bill she took the money and ran out and headed for home. At the age of eleven Becky had no idea what a prostitute was. This lasted about three months and it was getting worse when this man began to stalk her by driving past her apartment where she and her mother lived, everyday. It got so bad Becky would hide in the apartment shaking so bad with fright. She never told anyone she was too afraid of him to tell. Finally at age twelve her mother moved them to another town.TO BE CONTINUED.....
I've been tagged by Michelle who was tagged by Margaret and Cheryl. This means I have to post fifteen things about myself and my reading. So here I go...1, I am a mother of three girls ages ( 17, 16, 11) 2, I am divorced for the second time and I pray that the third one will be the one for sure. (God, you lead me this time)3, I love reading Love Inspired books as I put myself always into the stories, as I read them and Pray for that same happy ending for my life.4, I am a stay at home mom and homeschooling. So I am focused on getting my stories out there to help in finances.5, I would love to see my name out there on the selves as it will be an accomplishment for me.6, I am also a singer as I sing songs such as Point Of Grace and Avalon with my three girls. Who also have been blessed with voices as angels.7, I live in Az which I don't really like and if God sees fit my girls and I would love to move where there are four seasons instead of two. 8, I love movies with happy endings such as... You Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, While you were Sleeping and others like these.9, My girls and I are building a stronger relationship with each other and God.10, I have a lot of love and compassion for others that people take me for granted, I have too big a heart.11, I am an animal lover and have a house full of pets one dog and five (Yes Five) cats. 12, My dream is to be an accomplished writer and to buy my own home. Renting your pretty limited in what you could do to the place.13, I do have to admit that a few of the writers for Steeple Hill has been my biggest Inspiration for writing. Thanks for your inspiration ladies. There's to many names to mention. But it was God who blessed me with the gift.14, I enjoy doing things with my girls and acting like a kid myself at times. 15, I love to write and I do pray God uses my gift to His full advantage. That many will be inspired and see that there is always hope and they are not alone. "Thank you Lord for the gift in writing and that I can be used to do Your will in my life."I am now Tagging Margaret and April.Have fun everyone...
