In school she could never seem to make friends, she pretty much stayed to herself withdrawn, alone deserted and abandoned. No one understood, no one felt her pain. They finally moved to where her older sister lived in Arizona and by that time the damage was done. Becky was now growing into a depressed young woman. No friends, no one to talk to, why would anyone want to be her friend? She wasn’t worthy of any love, worthy of any friends. Everyone she got close to left her. So why should she give her whole heart away? Then at seventeen Becky found a love beyond her wildest dreams. She found God! She had begun to finally make friends who wanted to be near her. She began to blossom into a beautiful rose. Three years she had now grown into a lovely woman and met a man who she fell in love with. They had a secret engagement planned to get married in September, until one day he broke it off and broke her fragile heart. She felt her whole life that she had to be loved, she wanted to be loved, and she craved love. So when she meets some one, then they walk out it destroys her. Yet she always gave of herself to be accepted and loved. She grew compassionate towards people because she understands pain. When someone hurt she hurt with them. Due to her big compassionate heart people began to use Becky, walk all over her. No one knew the deep secret, or scars that she bore. Becky felt so alone except for the Love of God the Father. She knew He would never leave her nor forsake her. Becky was misunderstood and felt no one would listen to her no matter how hard she tried to be heard. A few months after Becky’s boyfriend broke up with her she met some one new, who in a few months has convinced Becky that no one but him could ever love her. Then came the time when he took some thing that she held very dear and special. (Her virginity) How she wanted to save herself for her soul mate and one true love on her wedding night. Now that was lost and not by her choice. Now with this new secret the only one she could talk to about it is God Himself. She doesn’t know much at this age of spiritual growth, but she does love God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit with all her heart. After being raped for a few months she now meets a man who she believes is the man she is to marry. For now she felt strong enough to break up with the man, who said she was nothing, and he has dated prettier, and who said she would never be loved by another. After two years she and the new man did marry and had three children together. Now she experienced a new type of abuse, emotional. Her husband would now and then buy her flowers and call her beautiful but it was his actions of looking at another women. Calling attention of their sexuality or he would go up to a woman at a family gathering put his arm around her and say this is my girlfriend. Where Becky already felt unattractive weighing now more then she did when she first got married. So here her husband is with his arm around another woman thinner then her. Making Becky feel like who is she? The deep hurt in her heart growing, but she never gave up on God. And He never gave up on her. After about fifteen years of emotional heartache and depression her husband did something to their oldest daughter. Something he never should have done. The police got involved and so did Child protective services. Now with the husband in prison she filed and is now on her own to raise three kids. Never being on her own before she now felt fear, so after a year of staying at her sisters, her sister gives her three months to find a place and move out. It wasn’t because Becky and her kids were bad it was her sister’s husband wanting the place to them selves. Becky didn’t blame them she just has no idea of where to go. She begins to question God and His will. She really is feeling alone and scared. Here she felt again abandoned emotionally by her now ex husband and she has no idea of Gods will for her life she and her daughter were the victims. She felt like the one who has done the crime. She begins to question where the justice is. Yet the hurt is burning deeper into her heart. She still struggles to hang on to God in her life. The she get a phone call from her ex sister in law in Ohio and said Becky and the kids are welcome to stay there until they can get on their feet. Becky believes this is Gods answer. So with the last bit of money she has she packs up all the belongings she has and moves to Ohio. Once there, Becky’s ex sister in law begins to act differently and very distant. After two weeks and Becky’s belongings in storage the sister in law (I’ll call her Ruth) throws Becky and the kids out in the middle of the night after Ruth who does not know God and her family got in a drunken state. After loading the few things they had in the car and with no place to go and now terrified she heads to the only place where she feels comfort. A church parking lot, now with no money left they sleep in the car only Becky couldn’t sleep she walked in the cold night around the church crying out to God. She wanted Him to hear her prayer, and wanting to know His will. She tried so hard not to blame God for she knew of the evil one it just seemed she couldn’t understand why it seemed God had forsaken her. What had she done but Love Him with all her heart and wanted so much to be loved in return. She began to wonder if true love really existed. Maybe it was only make believe, to Becky God would now have to prove to her that the real love as in stories she reads does exist. Now with tears the next day at the advice of her mother she goes to the police and explains what happened. The police paid for their food and a motel for three days until Sunday. Sunday came and Becky heads with her and her kids to a church and explains the problem to the pastor. He takes pity on them and paid for a week the motel and more food until Becky appointment at the welfare office. At the appointment the welfare was able to qualify Becky for a grant to pay for a motel for a month with food stamps for food. At the motel Becky asks for a job application and gets hired as a housekeeper. She makes it for a month until her car kept her from the motel the assigned her to work at and they dismissed her. Now with not knowing what to do she goes back to the welfare office and with the help of her worker Becky and the kids get sent back to Arizona to Becky’s family. With Becky’s dad coming back into her life and wanting to make things right He paid for Becky’s apartment. Now with Becky, and her kids, getting counseling, and Becky finding her strength in writing, she puts forth an effort in writing Christian romance stories. Still on welfare and growing stronger in God she still has her struggles and hurts. Like when the kids get rebellious because now they question God about what all they had endured. It’s tough on Becky to try and explain to them when at this point the two older ones are nearing adulthood. It has been years since they have come back to Arizona from Ohio. Becky’s things are still in storage there, and one day she prays God will open a way for her to get her things.
TO BE CONTINUED.....
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